Turtles Hangin' Out
by Turkee
Summary: This is what happens when the Turtles are bored and have absolutely nothing to do except be stupid. R&R please and thank you.
1. Turtle's Hangin' Out

[The turtles are bored in the sewer lair. Splinter is sleeping. Oh the possibilities.]   
  
Mikey: I'm so boredededed.   
  
Leo: Dude, how many 'ed's were in the word.   
  
Mikey: Uhhhh..... [thinks really hard]   
  
Dona: Four, you nimrod.   
  
Mikey: Thank you.   
  
Dona: Anytime.   
  
Leo: Raphael isn't talking. I think he's sick.   
  
Mikey: I figure he's more ill than sick.   
  
Dona: What's the difference?   
  
Mikey: Well, sick is when you're nauseous. When you're ill, you don't act like yourself.   
  
Raph: You guys can shut up now. And, so you know, I was thinking of the ways I should kill you all.   
  
[awkward silence]   
  
Leo: Anyway.   
  
Mikey: I think we should talk about cheese.   
  
[at the same time]   
  
Leo: Why cheese?   
  
Dona: My feet smell like cheese.   
  
Raphael: You're such a retard!!!   
  
Mikey: Too...... many..... voices..... mind...... too...... small   
  
Raphael: Are you feeling pain?   
  
Mikey: Very much so.   
  
Raphy: We should do this more often.   
  
Leo: You're so mean.   
  
Mikey: [singing] Why you gotta be so mean to me.   
  
Raphy: I can't help it. I was born this way.   
  
Mikey: [still singing] Why you gotta drag me down just to make me see.   
  
Leo: You could go to therapy for that.   
  
Mikey: [still still singing] You know I don't listen good and I'm always in need.   
  
Raphy: Will you just shut up already!?!?   
  
Mikey: [whispering] Why you gotta be so mean to me.   
  
Dona: My feet STILL smell like cheese!   
  
Leo: Well, quit stepping on the pizza then.   
  
Dona: But it feels all soft and squishy.   
  
Raphy: I am surrounded by morons.   
  
Mikey: I prefer the phrase 'retards', thank you very mucho Mr. Roboto.   
  
Raphy. Oh, shut up. Who cares?   
  
Dona: I care.   
  
Raphy: And who cares about you?   
  
Leo: I DO!!!!!   
  
Raphy: Just leave me alone already.   
  
Mikey: You brought yourself into this family, you can't get out.   
  
Leo: Uh, I don't think that's right, man.   
  
Mikey: Oh well, I tried.   
  
Dona: [stepping on pizza] Ahhhh....   
  
Leo: I thought I told you to stop?!?   
  
Dona: I didn't listen.   
  
Leo: Well, maybe you should.   
  
Dona: I'll make a note of that.   
  
Mikey: [wanders to Splinter's door] [to himself] I wonder if he'll mind if I wake him up. [starts to open the door.]   
  
Raphy: [catches him] Hey, idiot!!!   
  
[Mikey looks over]   
  
Raphy: Don't wake him up.   
  
Mikey: But, it seems fun.   
  
Raphy: He gets crabby when he is disturbed from his slumber.   
  
Mikey: And.....?   
  
Raphy: And he'll go kung fu on your ass.   
  
Mikey: But that's your job!!!   
  
Raphy: He'll steal it from me.   
  
Mikey: But, that's not nice.   
  
Raphy: So don't make him get up.   
  
Mikey: But......   
  
Raphy: NO 'BUT'S!!!   
  
Mikey: [laughs] You just said 'butt'.   
  
Dona: I have a butt!!!!!   
  
Raphy: I'm about to kick your butt if you don't be quiet.   
  
Leo: I think that would hurt.   
  
Dona: Just slightly.   
  
Raphy: The whole point is so that it hurts.   
  
Dona: Oh.   
  
[They are quiet for awhile. Leo gets some pizza. Mikey lays down for his nap. Raphy looks at a magazine. Dona is sniffing his feet.]   
  
Raphy: Dude, stop.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: It's gross.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: 'Cause your feet stink.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: 'Cause you were walking on pizza!!   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: I don't know. That's how your ADHD mind works.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: Shut the fuck up.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: I don't know. Why?   
  
Dona: Because I'm dumb?   
  
Raphy: EXACTLY!!   
  
Dona: Oh, I get it...... [pauses] now. [another pause] What?   
  
[Leo comes back from the kitchen]   
  
Dona: Hey Leo.   
  
Leo: What?   
  
Dona: Wanna know my favorite word?   
  
Leo: Sure.   
  
Dona: Why.   
  
Leo: Is that a question or an answer.   
  
Dona: Uhhhhh...... [pause] D. all of the above.   
  
Leo: WHAT?!?! THERE WAS NO 'D'!! ONLY 'Z' AND '5'!!!   
  
Dona: F2. I sunk your battleship!!!! Yay!!!!!   
  
Leo: If you don't shut up, I'm gonna kill you with a can of soup.   
  
Dona: [amazed] We own soup?!?!? Astounding.   
  
Raphy: Wow, he knows a big word.   
  
Mikey: [wakes up and yawns]   
  
Leo: Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty.   
  
Mikey: [girly] You think I'm pretty?   
  
Leo: Uhhh....no.   
  
Dona: Crush his dreams, why don't you?   
  
Raphy: You mean I didn't before. I am slacking today.   
  
Mikey: I wanna go back to sleep.   
  
Dona: Sleep away.   
  
Mikey: ok   
  
[a few moments pass]   
  
Mikey: [snoring]   
  
Raphy: He gives me a headache.   
  
Leo: Like the way your face is nauseating?   
  
Raphy: How bout no.   
  
Dona: Was that a question or a statement?   
  
Raphy: Both.   
  
Leo: How could it be both?   
  
Raphy: Because I said it is.   
  
Dona: You just broke the rule.   
  
Raphy: How did I break the rule?   
  
Leo: It has to be all of the above.   
  
Raphy: No it doesn't   
  
Dona: Yes it does.   
  
Raphy: No it doesn't   
  
Leo: Yes it does.   
  
Raphy: FINE! ALL OF THE ABOVE!   
  
Mikey: Did you have to yell in my fragile ear?   
  
Raphy: YES!!!!!   
  
Mikey: [pause] ok [goes back to sleep]   
  
Leo: I think he was sleep talking again.   
  
Dona: What's new?   
  
Raphy: I think I need to go to sleep.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: 'Cause yelling at you guys makes me tired.   
  
Dona: Why?   
  
Raphy: DON'T START THAT WITH ME AGAIN!!!   
  
Dona: [pause] Why?   
  
[Raphael slaps Donatello]   
  
Leo: You are so evil!   
  
Mikey: You have permission to use my theme song, Don.   
  
Dona: [singing] Why you gotta be so mean to me.   
  
Raphy: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! [goes into his room and slams the door]   
  
[pause]   
  
Mikey: I'm awake now.   
  
Leo: [sarcastically] Wow. I never realized that.   
  
Dona: You must be stupid. Even I knew that.   
  
Leo: I knew he was. I was just being sarcastic.   
  
Mikey: You sounded serious to me.   
  
Leo: Sorry to break it to ya, but I was joking.   
  
Dona: Ohhhh, joking.   
  
Mikey: There's a difference between sarcasticism and jokingism.   
  
Leo: Do you even know what you're talking about, Mike?   
  
Mikey: [pause] Maybe.   
  
Dona: Maybe yes or maybe no?   
  
Mikey: [another pause] Why do you want to know?   
  
Dona: It's a simple question, Mike.   
  
Leo: Nothing's simple to Mikey.   
  
[pause]   
  
Mikey: Hey!!!!   
  
[Leonardo and Donatello laugh]   
  
Mikey: Now that's not nice. 


	2. Author's Note

I know this was a little OOC but that was pretty much the point. My friend Cabyn and I wrote this on vacation in Alabama out of pure boredom. When we came back, we were deciding whether we should add more or leave as is. We chose to leave it but if you want us to add more, we can. Just tell us. 


End file.
